In my bible study yesterday, I read Nehemiah 1:3-4. It says, "They said to me, 'Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.' When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven."
I was challenged by the fact that Nehemiah's heart was broken over the broken state and condition of other peoples lives. People he did not know. I was asked the question, "What breaks your heart?" and "Where could you be more tender?". The "What breaks your heart?" list would not surprise you if you know me at all. Divorce and broken families. Abortion. People living in bondage when they can be free to live the abundant life in Christ. These things break my heart. But the "Where could you be more tender?" list, the "What DOESN'T break your heart?" list, well, I'm not brave enough to share that one. It's embarrassing, really. So I prayed that God will give me compassion where my heart is indifferent and develop in me the heart that Jesus has for others.
And then it happened. Wham! Out of nowhere, as I was driving down the highway today, my heart broke. A vehicle was beside me that was rather beat up and raggedy. I glanced over and noticed a lady in the drivers seat. The window was down so she must not have air conditioning in her car (poor thing, it felt like 100° today!). She looked as though she's lived a rough life. As she passed me I noticed these words written on her back window, "In memory of my daughter." It listed a name, and a birth and death year. Her daughter died young. My heart broke. I felt a physical pain in my chest. I hurt for her. I cannot image her grief. I prayed for her and have thought about her many times today.
God is so faithful. He answered my prayer to give me a heart that hurts for the things that hurts His heart. I wonder if that lady knows that God's heart hurts for her? I do because today I felt a small bit of His hurt for her. What if I had not asked Him to break my heart? Would I have even noticed the lady who lost a daughter way too soon? Probably not. And that REALLY breaks my heart.
That's good Janine, thank you for sharing this. To be honest, I haven't shared this but the lady that I have been blogging about, she hurt badly over something years ago when we worked together. It was something that, rightly so, crushed her and she really couldn't make it through many days without breaking down. One of the days, a couple of weeks ago that I was on the hwy with her, praying, God brought to memory a time that I wasn't compassionate at all. I had the "suck it up" attitude, 15yrs later, my heart finally broke for being ugly to her. Since she has had a stroke, she doesn't remember any of that time because she still doesn't remember me from back then and I am glad that she doesn't remember how I treated her but even more glad that she has a better friend to her now!!
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