It Broke My Heart

In my bible study yesterday, I read Nehemiah 1:3-4.  It says, "They said to me, 'Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace.  The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.'  When I heard these things, I sat down and wept.  For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven."

I was challenged by the fact that Nehemiah's heart was broken over the broken state and condition of other peoples lives.  People he did not know.  I was asked the question, "What breaks your heart?" and "Where could you be more tender?".  The "What breaks your heart?" list would not surprise you if you know me at all.  Divorce and broken families.  Abortion.  People living in bondage when they can be free to live the abundant life in Christ.  These things break my heart.  But the "Where could you be more tender?" list, the "What DOESN'T break your heart?" list, well, I'm not brave enough to share that one.  It's embarrassing, really.  So I prayed that God will give me compassion where my heart is indifferent and develop in me the heart that Jesus has for others.

And then it happened.  Wham!  Out of nowhere, as I was driving down the highway today, my heart broke.  A vehicle was beside me that was rather beat up and raggedy.  I glanced over and noticed a lady in the drivers seat.  The window was down so she must not have air conditioning in her car (poor thing, it felt like 100° today!).  She looked as though she's lived a rough life.  As she passed me I noticed these words written on her back window, "In memory of my daughter."  It listed a name, and a birth and death year.  Her daughter died young.  My heart broke.  I felt a physical pain in my chest.  I hurt for her.  I cannot image her grief.  I prayed for her and have thought about her many times today.

God is so faithful.  He answered my prayer to give me a heart that hurts for the things that hurts His heart.  I wonder if that lady knows that God's heart hurts for her?  I do because today I felt a small bit of His hurt for her.  What if I had not asked Him to break my heart?  Would I have even noticed the lady who lost a daughter way too soon?  Probably not.  And that REALLY breaks my heart.

Lunch With My Grand-Princess

Today I had lunch with my Grand-Princess, Mylee, and her daddy, my son, Matt.  We went to my newest favorite place to go for lunch, the Mendenhall G&G http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mendenhall-G-and-G/114997378241.  The owner, Pam, is becoming a dear friend of mine.  She always greets me with a smile and a hug.  We've even stopped and prayed together right there in the middle of her shop.  Prayer has a way of connecting two people who really don't know each other that well.  Anyway, before I make it to the deli in the back of the store for lunch, I love to look at all of the girlie things.  Earrings!  Necklaces!  Bracelets!  Rings!  Purses!  I'm amazed I ever make it past all of that stuff.  There's always a great Lunch Plate Special and a big 'ol cup of the best sweet tea.

Mylee joined me today in all my oohin' and aahin'.  "Look, NeNe, rings!"  "Pretty bracelet!"  She made me laugh out loud when I turned around and saw her walking toward me with the cutest little purse shaped like an elephant strapped across her shoulder.  We both agreed we didn't need a purse today so we cheerfully put it back.  She really was cheerful about it and I really was glad because one little pouty lip and a "Please, NeNe" and she would've had herself a new elephant purse.

I call Mylee my little Grand-Princess because my daddy always calls (yes, that's present tense because he still does) me his Princess.  That rightly makes Mylee the GRAND-Princess.  Our church Missions Pastor, Jim MacLellan, preached this past Sunday and reminded us that as Believers, we are also Princes and Princesses.  Being a Believer/Princess doesn't mean just living a life of royalty, it means serving the people.  He pointed out the modern day Princesses like Diana and Grace Kelly who spent their reign serving.

My little Mylee is indeed a Princess.  She's a part of a royal Kingdom.  I want to influence her not to view herself as a princess who just gets spoiled rotten and given everything she wants, but as a princess who is to use her resources, her time, her life to serve others.  The best way I can influence her is to act like a Princess myself.  Lord, Jesus, may we both grow up to be Servant Princesses in your Kingdom.

Peek and Pray at the CPC

Today was the monthly "Peek and Pray" at the Center for Pregnancy Choices.  It's a day for friends of the Center to stop by to take a peek around and to pray.  I took my lunch hour and headed to Jackson to pray for a ministry that has had a huge impact on my life.

In 1994, Barbara Beavers (the Executive Director of the CPC) spoke at my church's women's mission meeting.  As she shared about the mission and ministry of the Center, my heart was literally pounding out of my chest.  I don't think I've ever heard the call of God so strongly telling me to "GO!"  I think I went the next day and filled out a volunteer application.  I worked in Downtown Jackson and my office was not far from the Center, which was on President Street at that time.  I arranged my work schedule so that I went in to work at 6:00 am one or two mornings a week so I could get off at 3:00 pm, and then I headed over to the CPC and volunteered from 3-5.  This wasn't easy because my boys were just 5 years old and 6 months old.  Little did I know how saying "Yes" to the call to "Go" would change my life.

My Pastor, Freddie Brown, recently taught a series on the Keys to Breakthrough - http://restorationms.org/media/.  He says that giving is the key to breakthrough, really, giving is the key to everything. Those few hours a week that I gave was the key to everything my life is today.  I went in so eager to "help" others, only to find that what I had to offer was broken, fragile, and confused.  My healing came as I gave.  I thought about this as I prayed for the CPC today.  I stopped by to give a prayer.  I left a little more whole and a little more healed.

http://mypregnancychoices.org

VisionCast

Today I spent a few hours with my brother, Josh.  He asked for my input on some things he's putting together for his new business.  He doesn't really need my input, but I am honored that he asks for it.  About a year or so ago Ted & I sat with Josh & Tierney during lunch one day, and Josh shared his vision for a business direction he felt God leading him to go in.  We talked about simple things like a name for his business (we settled on VisionCast) and difficult things like when and how he should start his business.  His passion for following the call of God on his life was evident.  I knew that day it wasn't a matter of IF he was going to pursue this call, but WHEN he was going to pursue this call.  Over the next several months I watched him grow restless in the waiting.  Then one day he did it.  He left his land of Haran, which held security and familiarity, and set out for his land of Canaan, which held insecurity and uncertainty.  Reminds me of the call of Abram in Genesis 12.  He quit talking about VisionCast and began doing VisionCast.  I'm watching him grow and struggle and depend on God as never before.  It is so inspiring to see someone totally depend on God for their every provision.  Due to our self-sufficiency we don't see that much these days.  As a big sister I've held my brother's hand many times.  I am so proud of the man he is becoming and so honored to hold his hand again while he walks towards his Promised Land.

www.visioncastconsulting.com

The Pain of Pruning and Plucking

I love flowers!  Last year I had some landscaping done that included planting several rose bushes.  I've never grown roses before so I was a little iffy about them.  This year the roses have been beautiful.  They started sprouting up huge stalks that have been producing clusters of blooms.  I've been told that I need to prune those stalks back - for the good of the bush.  I have not been able to bring myself to do it.  I decided this week that I have an unhealthy emotional attachment to my roses.  So this morning I began the pruning process.  There's a lot to be said about pruning and its benefits.  It's such a painful process but is so necessary.  I hope I can remember this the next time the Master Gardener prunes the wild and untamed stalks in my life.  And I hope I don't bite back, like that thorn that punctured my finger!  OUCH!

I've also spent the morning plucking tiny oak trees out of my flower bed.  The 50 + year old Oak Tree in my front yard produced a bumper crop of acorns this year that are now sprouting up trees - HUNDREDS of them.  This plucking process seems to be never ending.  Everyday I pluck, everyday an oak tree sprouts.  So is the way with the unwanted things of the flesh.  If I do not pluck away everyday the acorns of unholiness, my life will be overrun by tiny little saplings that will develop deep roots. 

Today has been a lesson about pruning and plucking away those things that will overtake my life if left unchecked.  I'm glad my Gardener is gentle and patient.  This garden needs a lot of work!